Where the Wild Things Are

and Max
the king of all wild things 
was lonely and wanted to be 
where someone loved him best of all.


Yesterday I received a package from Jeff. It was the book "Where the Wild Things Are" and a tiny little DVD. I had known that he had gone to the USO and filmed himself reading the book to Alec, but I was unprepared for how strongly it would affect us.

I gathered Alec up, snuggled him in my lap, handed him the book and pressed play on the remote control. Alec looked at the TV, turned around and looked at me. I said, "There's Daddy!" and he pushed the book aside and lunged for the screen. Jeff had recorded the video so that when he was done reading a page, he would put it to the screen so that he could show the pictures. In doing so, he slightly covered his face. Whenever the camera went back to him, Alec would crack up. He laughed, pointed, and said "Dada" over and over again. Every time he saw Jeff's face it would start him anew. I swear, I haven't seen Alec so happy and excited in a very long time.

Of course it killed me. Every time Alec laughed, I started to cry. And obviously I had to hide it from him. It felt like my heart was being stabbed. That was a strange mixture of emotion. On one hand, I was elated that Alec was able to 'see' his father, relieved that he hadn't forgotten him, and thrilled to see Jeff myself. On the other hand, it really cemented how much I miss my husband. I don't know how to describe it (imagine that! ME at a loss for words!) but it made me want to bury my head into Jeff's arm and never leave. I don't know if any of you have ever ached to touch someone.


 Jeff has recorded another book. We should receive that in a week or so. He wants to record a story every week on his day off, so that he can build Alec's library. I know that each and every book and DVD that Alec gets he's going to be so very happy. Hopefully, I'll get to the point where I don't feel like my heart is being ripped out. After all, I love what he's doing. It's truly the most wonderful gift a parent can give to their child... the gift of themselves.