I need a distraction!

I feel really overwhelmed right now.

I have so much anger towards our government, and I don't know how to direct that energy. The corporate greed in America has turned our "democracy" into a fascist regime. Monsanto, Dupont, JP Morgan, Goodyear, Bath & Body Works, Gap, Halliburton, on and on and on... They own us lock, stock and barrel. They own the politicians. They make policy change, not us.

It's impossible to not be a consumer, unless you live in a commune, and even then you still need to buy. The thing I've found so difficult is who do I trust with my money? I mean, IKEA and Gap Inc. claim social responsibility, but they've both been guilty of using sweat shops and child labor. I hope that my recent purchase from Pacifica was a wise decision, but I don't really know for sure.

Who can we trust? Our president? Obviously I thought so, otherwise I wouldn't have voted for him, but I've recently come across information and it has most definitely changed my mind.

It seems like the real evil in this world are the Chemical/Petrol companies. They are destroying our earth and paying off the government for a "get out of jail free" card. They are making us fat, infertile and giving us cancer. They are trying to make organic food illegal. They threaten us and our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.


Have you seen The Matrix? I'm sure you have. I feel like Neo. It's so hard being awake. It's hard to be aware. I'd rather go back to sleep, but I can't. I brought a child into this world, and I have to protect him and his future.

These are some of the things I'm doing, and I strongly encourage others to do as well.

• Buy American. It sounds so simple, but it's easier said then done. If you buy, say, Lucky Jeans, you're buying an American made product, but where was the denim sourced? Who grows the cotton? Is it organic? Is it sustainable? Do the workers that pick it make a living wage? Are there children working in factories to loom the fabric? What dyes are used? Are they harmful?
• Buy from consignment shops or the goodwill. It's basic reduce/reuse/recycle, focusing on the reuse part. If you are using something that someone else considers trash, you aren't making the corporations any more money.
• Reduce plastic consumption. I have entirely eliminated plastic water or soda bottles (actually, I've quit drinking all soda that isn't from a glass bottle, and I only have a max of one a day), and strongly restrict metal cans. Aluminum drinking cans and metal food cans are sprayed with an epoxy resin of BPA. BPA is a known endocrine disruptor.
  
• Buy organic. You really have to pick and choose. Organic is expensive. I try to buy produce that is on the dirty dozen list, organic dairy and meats (when I can. I can't always afford to, but Alec eats about 90% organic.), non-farmed fish, and non-GMO grains.
• Switch to paraben/phthalate/petrochemical/sulfate/triclosan/propylene glycol/mineral oil free goods. This is a list of some of the most dangerous chemicals in our foods and body products.
• Make your own goods whenever possible. This means cutting back on processed foods (full of bad crap), and cooking from scratch. I also make my own laundry detergent and cleaning supplies from simple ingredients (like salt, baking soda, lemon, vinegar, vodka, and yogurt-- really! Yogurt works great as a fabric softener.)
• Be creative. When I started investigating the crap in my deodorant I got really scared. I've switched to plain baking soda. It really works! I put about a half-teaspoon in the palm of my hand and add just enough water to create a paste. I apply it under my arms and it works like a charm. Baking soda can be caustic if used heavily, so I've found a great recipe to make it a little easier on the skin.***UPDATE*** I found that the simple baking soda was a little caustic to my skin so I switched to the aforementioned recipe. It works like a charm!
• Reduce your carbon footprint. Simple things like switching to fluorescent light bulbs and walking whenever possible. Make less trash. Compost. Here are some more ideas.

• Use water filters, both in your kitchen sink and in your shower. Did you know that chlorine is one of the leading causes of cancer? You absorb more chlorine while showering because the heat actually causes the gas to escape into the air.

Anyway, this list isn't by any means exhaustive, but putting all those links in there certainly was exhausting, heh heh (especially because I had to go through them twice because I put them in wrong the first time!)

I guess I'm so angry because I'm so scared. Now that our health insurance will be active (on Monday!!) I'm going to see a doctor. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know if I should just demand a mammogram or if I should just have the lump biopsied or both. I mean, obviously I should have a biopsy, but should I ask for a mammogram as well? The way the new regulations in health care are, they try to avoid paying for a mammogram until you're 50.
I took a risk assessment quiz to find out what my chances of developing breast cancer are, and apparently I have a "medium" risk of developing it. The quiz didn't address working around chemicals (hello? Pharmacy for 10 years), environmental toxins (my addiction to beauty products) or all the x-rays and CAT scans I had in 2007 (because of my kidney stones and then knee surgery.)

I know I shouldn't be worried until I have a reason to be, but this "wait and see" thing is driving me insane. I have to DO something. That's probably the motivation behind my switch to all things granola, although I know myself well enough to know that this isn't a "phase".

I know this blog has been all over the place, but honestly, my anger and fear have really reduced my mental clarity. I just want this to all be over. I want my family to move to Tacoma, WA and start over fresh. I want my husband and son to be happy and healthy. I want a better world.